Genealogy Joke

Genealogy Joke

Genealogy Joke

Genealogy Joke

angel & Mary



I Chronicals 3

Matthew 1

Luke 3

David David David
Solomon – Note



Solomon– Note



Nathan – Note



Rehoboam Rehoboam Mattatha
Abijah Abijah Menna
Asa Asa Melea
Jehoshaphat Jehoshaphat Eliakim
Jehoram Jehoram Jonam
Ahaziah x – missing name Joseph
Joash x – missing name Judah
Amaziah x – missing name Simeon
Azariah Uzziah Levi
Jotham Jotham Matthat
Ahaz Ahaz Jorim
Hezekiah Hezekiah Eliezer
Menasseh Menasseh Joshua
Amon Amon Er
Josiah Josiah Elmadam
Jehoiakim x – missing name Cosam
Jechoniah – Note



Jechoniah – Note



Shealtiel Shealtiel Melki
Pedaiah Zerubbabel Neri
Hananiah Abiud Shealtiel
Shecaniah Eliakim Zerubbabel
Shemaiah Azor Rhesa
Neariah Zadok Joanan
Elioenai Akim Joda
  Eliud Josech
  Eleazar Semein
  Matthan Mattathias
  Jacob Maath
  Joseph – see below Naggai


    Joseph – see below




Both Christian linages end with Joseph … the step father???  The father of Jesus was God.    I guess God committed adultery since Mary was married at the time of conception.  And there is no indication that Joseph adopted Jesus.  Jewish tribal affiliations are based on the birth father and not through adoption. This is demonstrated by the Cohen Priest’s traditions.

How can Jesus have two completely different lineages in the New Testament, the “Word of God?”  And why two completely different linage from the linage in the Old Testament?

Matthew includes four women in his reciting of the genealogy of Jesus: Tamar, Rachab, Ruth and “the wife of Uriah”.  Genealogies in the Bible are exclusively based upon the male lineage.

After David, the “Word of God” has Luke’s rendition and Matthew’s rendition with only three names that are the same!

In the “Word of God” Luke’s genealogy is FIFTEEN GENERATIONS LONGER than Matthew’s genealogy!!!!!

Both genealogies are false and contain made up fictitious names.  A number of the names are not patriarchs but older gods!

angel and mary

The Father of God Jesus was the Holy Ghost God

8   Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.    Matthew 1:18

**God must have done his deed after the wedding (“Mary was espoused to Joseph”) but before the wedding night (“before they came together”).**

Linage Must Come from David

Column Two and Three  are the Christian linage tracings of Jesus back to David. This shows that the New Testament recognizes that it must establish that Jesus, if portrayed as the Messiah, came from the linage of David as was clearly stated in the Old Testament;  Jeremiah 33:17-20 , and  1 Chronicles 17:11-12

And … Linage Must Come from Solomon

The Messiah seed must come from Solomon — Samuel 7:12-16 … and Psalms 89:29-38…  and  1 Chronicles 17:11-14,  22:9-10,  28:6-7

In God’s “Word of God,” Luke 3:31 lists Joseph as a descendant of David through Nathan, Solomon’s brother, and not through Solomon.  God clearly didn’t know that this disqualifies Jesus as the Messiah since the Messiah must come through Solomon.

Was the Father of Joseph (Mary’s Husband) was it Jacob or Heli???

Again God couldn’t get his genealogy straight;

And Jacob begat Joseph, the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus.     Matt. 1:16.

Being the son of Joseph which was the son of Heli.   Luke 3:23.

Get the Number of Generations Right

God in his Book of Matthew conveniently skipped descendants and he can’t count the generations he himself listed; 13 generations if you include Jechoniah (which is incorrect) and including Joseph (he is not in the linage according to the other verses)  With those two excluded Matthew is only listing 11 generations. Luke is listing totally different descendants totaling 42 generations. God in his Book of Luke has 15 more generations than Matthew between David and Jesus.

17 So all the generations from Abraham to David are fourteen generations; and from David until the carrying away into Babylon are fourteen generations; and from the carrying away into Babylon unto Christ are fourteen generations. Matthew 1:17


Abraham begat Isaac . . . Jacob . . . Judas . . . Phares . . . Esrom . . . Aram . . . Aminaldab . . . Naason . . . Salmon . . . Booz . . . Obed . . . Jesse . . . David .. [13 listed]. (Matt. 1:2, 3, 4, 5, 6.)

And from the carrying away into Babylon unto Christ are fourteen generations. (Matt. 1:17.)


And after they were brought to Babylon Jechonias begat Salathiel . . . Zorobabel . . . Abiud . . . Eliakim . . . Azor . . . Sadoc . . . Achim . . . Eliud . . . Eleazar . . . Matthan . . . Jacob . . . Joseph, the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus [13 listed]. (Matt. 1:12, 13, 14, 15, 16.)


– Can you trust a God that can’t count??? And, can you trust a couple of guys inspired by God that don’t agree on the linage of Jesus by 18 generations (Luke’s 42 generations, minus Matthew’s 24, equals 18 generations apart).

Jesus’s Qualifications

If Jesus was born of a virgin and the father of Jesus was God then he is not a descendant from the linages of David and Solomon and thus he is not the Messiah.

If Joseph didn’t consummate the marriage and the Holy Ghost God was the father;

25 But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.    Matthew 1:25

35 The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God.     Luke 1:35

18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.   Matthew 1:18

If a Man was the father from the linage of David and Solomon;  And if Jesus is a descendant of David, then his father is not God; thus he cannot be called the “Son of God.”

9 But you will have a son who will be a man of peace and rest, and I will give him rest from all his enemies on every side. His name will be Solomon, and I will grant Israel peace and quiet during his reign.

10 He is the one who will build a house for my Name. He will be my son, and I will be his father. And I will establish the throne of his kingdom over Israel forever.     1 Chronicles 22:9

30 Therefore being a prophet [David], and knowing that God had sworn with an oath to him, that of the fruit of his loins, according to the flesh, he would raise up Christ to sit on his throne     “Christian’s Word” in  Acts 2:30

23 Of this man’s seed [David’s] hath God, according to his promise, raised unto Israel a Saviour, Jesus.     “Christian’s Word” in Acts 13:23

3 Concerning his son Jesus Christ our Lord, which was made of the seed of David according to the flesh.     “Christian’s Word” in  Romans 1:3

8 Remember that Jesus Christ of the seed of David.     2 Timothy 2:8

16 For verily he [Jesus] took not on him the nature of angels, but he took on him the seed of Abraham.     “Christian’s Word” in  Hebrews 2:16

16 I Jesus have sent mine angel to testify unto you these things in the churches. I am the root and the offspring of David.    “Christian’s Word” in  Revelation 22:16

NOT a Virgin – but a young woman!

Christians distort their translations so it serves their idol worshiping fable story by producing another fraudulent translation;

…which was spoken of the Lord by the prophet, saying, 23 ‘Behold a virgin shall be with child…   Matthew 1:22-23

What it really says in the Old Testament;

“Behold, the young woman is with child Isaiah 7:14

Almah in Hebrew means young woman.

And, at the end of that New Testament verse Matthew 1:23 the Christians translate it as

“…they shall call his name Emmanuel.”

The true translation in Isaiah is;   (It can only be translated one way)

she will call his name Emmanuel.”

According to the Christians “Word of God” they should be calling their savior by the name Emmanuel instead of Jesus.

A translator should translate what it says and not slant the translation to suit his purposes.  I guess the translator forgot that Jesus was never called Emmanual anywhere in the New Testament.  Isaiah was answering King Ahaz and the implication was that Isaiah was referring to his own wife.

st joseph

A Disciple of Jesus declared Jesus’ father to be Joseph

Philip findeth Nathanael, and saith unto him, We have found him, of whom Moses in the law, and the prophets, did write, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph.   John 1:45

God in his “Word of God.” has disciple Philip declaring Jesus to be the Son of Joseph, not the Son of God.

Joseph – Father of Jesus through Adoption???

According to Christian’s “Word of God”,  Joseph himself was not a legitimate heir to the throne. Even if lineage could be passed on through an adoption (can’t), Jesus could not be the Messiah if he was a descendant of Joseph.  Joseph, himself, was a descendant of a family whose linage is specifically stated to be disqualified from the Messiah linage.

Matthew 1:11 shows that Joseph was descended from Jechoniah or Coniah for short, a former king who was very wicked and cursed by God. In Jeremiah 22, we see that Jechoniah’s descendants are absolutely disqualified as heirs to the throne   Numbers 1:18-44, 34:14,  Leviticus 24:10     Therefore, anyone descended from Joseph was also disqualified as a candidate to the throne of David.

30 Write ye this man childless, a man that shall not prosper in his days: for no man of his seed shall prosper, sitting upon the throne of David, and ruling any more in Judah.   Jeremiah 22:30

In biblical tradition concerning the Kohanim (Priests), an adopted son cannot become a Kohen. Also a son adopted by a member of the royal line can never become heir to the throne. Thus the Messiah must be an actual biological member of the royal line.

16 And Jacob begat Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus, who is called Christ.    Matthew 1:16

The “whom” word in the above verse, Christians say, God was not referring to Joseph but refers to Mary; God wrote Joseph instead of Mary.  God makes mistakes too.  That way the Christians can keep up their idol worshiping of the Blessed Holy “Virgin” Mary”, and also keep up their idol worshiping of Jesus as the son of God (Jesus thus being God in the flesh).

18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Mathew 1:18

God’s Book of Luke the Genealogy lists Nathan instead of King Solomon

9 Behold, a son shall be born to you, who shall be a man of rest; and I will give him rest from all his enemies around; for his name shall be Solomon, and I will give peace and quiet to Israel in his days.

10 He shall build a house for my name; and he shall be my son, and I will be his father; and I will establish the throne of his kingdom over Israel forever.     I Chronicles 22:9-10

18 I will establish your royal throne, as I covenanted with David your father when I said, ‘You shall never fail to have a successor to rule over Israel.     II Chronicles 7:18

12 When your days are complete and you lie down with your fathers, I will raise up your descendant after you, who will come forth from you, and I will establish his kingdom.

13 He shall build a house for My name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever.

These verses are referring to King Solomon. The linage of the throne must be traced back to King SolomonNathan was another one of David’s sons but not a qualified linage. I guess God in writing his “Word of God” forgot what is written in  I Chronicles 22:9-10 … or II Chronicles 7:18 … or Samuel 7:12-13.

Can’t Get the Old Testament Generations Right

God’s Book of Matthew claims “Uzziah begat Joatham.”

In the Old Testament, 1 Chr 3:11-12, it lists three generations between Uzziah and Jotham (Joash, Amaziah, and Azariah).  God’s Book of Matthew omits all three generations.

11 Jehoram his son, Ahaziah his son, Joash his son,

12 Amaziah his son, Azariah his son, Jotham his son,     1 Chr 3:11-12

9 Uzziah the father of Jotham, Jotham the father of Ahaz, Ahaz the father of Hezekiah,     Matthew 1:9

Did God in the Book of Luke insert Someone into a Family Tree???

And Arphaxad lived five and thirty years and begat Salah. (Gen. 11:12.)

YES, Luke inserted Cainan into the linage.

Which was the son of Sala, which was the son of Cainan, which was the son of Arphaxad. (Luke 3:35, 36.)

Paul Knew their Genealogies were B.S.

But avoid foolish disputes, genealogies, contentions and strivings about the law, for they are unprofitable and useless.    Titus 3:3

… not head to fables and endless genealogies, which cause disputes rather than Godly edification which is in faith.   I Timothy 1:4

God in his “Word of God” apparently wants you to forget about his mistakes in genealogies.